2001-10-14-Private Session with David

Session

Opening

T/R : Father, I feel my will to do your will weakening. If it is your will that I transmit, I surrender my emotions now; my anger, my irritation, my resentment, my war like responses, my desire for isolation, my thoughts, my fears, my doubts. Guide me, please. I open now to your love. Thank you.

Alana : Yes, this is Alana.

David : Welcome, Alana. It is so nice to hear your voice.

Lesson

Alana : It is valuable to witness when one who would go to war chooses to surrender war like responses to our Father. This choice calls upon reserves of patience. Patience is the willingness to acknowledge that one individual does not have, or possibly retain, all information. Patience is a willingness to open to individual ignorance. Self ignorance. The willingness to acknowledge a lack of understanding or information within your individual self. Too often, the impatient response is based on the assumption, an assumption not necessarily recognized, the assumption being that the individual knows all that is needed to be known in order to make an immediate response. It is acknowledged, certainly by us as well as by yourself, Sir David, that this transmitter has extensive practice in patience. That it, as you have many times said your self, takes considerable effort, if you will, to push this one’s buttons sufficient to draw the impatient response. We are pleased that she chose today to surrender her desire to be, as she might say, left alone, allowed to be normal, if you will.

And so, we will speak with you, now, regarding patience and impatience as it has become “a thing” among you in your small little group. You are like new beings upon a planet, hoping to discover a means by which you might establish a small community of like-minded people willing to co-operate with each other in a peaceful manner. You have discovered that your lack of knowledge of each other, as well as the new adventure you have embarked upon, creates a ripe environment for the exercise of patience, or impatience. Yes?

Dialogue

David : Yes.

Alana : And you have recognized, have you not, that Legion was not without a crafty intelligence to suggest that you approach the subject of patience when next you begin to tap out your next lesson in the discipline of joy. Yes?

David : I got his crafty intelligence, yes, he sneaked that in at the end, very cleverly I have to admit. Yes. Thank you. Yes, I have been learning, and I need to get back on track with my lessons, and this is a good surfing line. Thank you.

Alana : I did not speak in order to chastise you, or create a sense of lacking in speedily expediting that which has been given you to accomplish.

David : Granted, Alana. Thank you.

Alana : We would not have you dash off, as you say, a lesson without extensive practice, deep understanding, and actual learning.

David : Yes. Correct.

Alana : Thank you.

David : One of the things that made it clear to me about impatience, Alana, is the realization of how patient you teachers have been with me, and with us. You are a model.

Alana : Yes. That is a useul ideal for you to hold before you like a mirror to compare one image against the other. It is like drinking the elixir of patience to remember and remind yourselves that you have been granted, freely, an infinity of patience, you might say, by our Father, our Mother, Michael, and ourselves. Still, I would warn you against the tendency, if you will, or the potential weakness in asking yourselves to extend to each other the level of patience that you experience given unto you, for, of course, you are well familiar with the reality differences between yourselves, as human beings on the planet Urantia, and ourselves.

It is necessary, sometimes, upon your planet for quick action, quick response. The difficulty always is when there is quick response without sufficient learning, or understanding. This calls for the exercise of the willingness to confess your ignorance. Something that in the increasingly, as you say, sophisticated cultures, or civilizations, are increasingly reluctant to confess. Always there is the difficulty in patience, and impatience, with right and wrong. Some behaviors are clearly agreed upon as right or wrong. It is the individual and divided separations among different groupings, or cultures, that creates this tug-of-war, if you will, tug toward war, because as your experience of time combines to create an experience of self-comfort and reluctance to give up self-comforts, or reluctance to accept change, which requires the release of time honored and time bound, time held precious beliefs, ideals and ways of living, operating, being, creates first a mild disturbance and discomfort, and secondly, objection, sometimes quite vociferous, like the little child pounding the feet upon the floor, even kicking the beloved parent or caretaker. And third there comes the choice that transcends those initial, automataic, if you will, self- protective, self- reflective, self-referential responses, comes the opportunity to transcend the impatient response and to open up with patience to learn and discover that which one did not even know was needed to be known.

Unlike the child, the adult, who has been conditioned by time, generally, often, may be more reluctant to surrender a position in order to discover something new. This pattern has been observed through out cultural time on your planet Urantia. One culture refusing to accept a new culture. One refusing to accept that the universe does not revolve strictly around you, one. But there are many who must learn to draw upon the wisdom and love and light of the one first source and center of all. This is a conflict, of course, that you face upon your planet in a global way. However, we can se the difficulty in your small little group, as I said, that has ventured to create community in its own little jungle habitat. Yes? One has a strongly held opinion this way. And one has a strongly held opinion that way. Yes?

David : I’m not sure how you expressed that…one held a position to the left, and one held a position to the right. One held a position against four others, not one. Maybe I’m making an issue of that and it isn’t the point you are making.

Alana : Yes. You would have me acknowledge there is greater weight on one side than the other. Yes? But I would point out to you that when a conflict begins, and it becomes tainted with the impulses toward war, that what may have been one against one, easily becomes one against many, and then the one searches and finds the many for its position to pit against the many of the other position, and then…well, I am sure you understand, because at the present moment your global world has indulged in establishing rightness and wrongness by gathering allies, if you will. Yes?

David : Yes.

Alana : Thank you. So, we have a conflict in your small group, and you would speak to me about this.

David : Yes. I picked up on the fact that you mentioned to us upon our coming back that this would be an intense time of learning for us, and so it has been. Dealing with conflict. Emotional feelings running high. I feel satisfied myself, Alana, for what I am learning with your help, and Legion’s help, of getting in a place where I can be tender and strong in this conflict with the person involved. I would like some help for the transmitter. I was concerned this morning and moved to have this talk with you because I felt anxiety hearing the transmitter express her anxiety about transmitting. I need some help with that. A lesson for the transmitter? Or is there a way we can protect her, and support her? She’s pretty key to this operation, in terms of the group, since she has this gift of being telepathic with you all and being able to transmit this to us. There are two values here: the basic value is to feel you teachers and to hear your teachings, and secondly, that comes through our transmitter and therefore we need to guard her very carefully. And so any words of wisdom you can give me this morning, I would appreciate.

Alana : Yes. We might speak to many things. We might speak to the use of war like language. You speak about the need to “guard” her, “protect” her.

David : She is the queen bee.

Alana : We return to the lesson in respect. Many times there can be the opportunity for her to grow, or to change her mind, but not without respect. When you speak of respect, it draws upon less war like thinking in the human mind.

David : Yes.

Alana : When you speak of respect, it draws upon human agreement to exercise love and patience in working through difficulties. We might also speak to the issue of her telepathic, if you will, connection which allows for this leap into the unknown, if you will. Allows her to give voice and words to that which she does not know before hand. Allows her to allow others to, shall we say, possibly pull the unexpected upon her, to which she then must allow the unknown and unexpected to come through her body and her voice in response. This takes great courage on her part, and a willingness to be responsible to that endeavor and responsible for that courage. Without that willingness to leap with courage, without that willingness to assume responsibility, transmission might be possible, but would not manifest. Yes? Do you understand the point that I make?

David : No.

Alana : The point being it is true some are better equipped physically and conditionally to become transmitter/receivers and to be used by us for this particular teaching mission. But there are many more possible transmitter/receivers than presently are known to you, than are presently active. This is a function of both the pre-disposition to become a t/r and the choice, the decision, the willingness, to enter into this co-operative effort with us, and to enter into the collaborative effort of the many human beings involved presently in your teaching mission as it is known by you. Thus, there are some whose ability to become t/r’s is known by us, but not known, necessarily, either by you, or by the individual, and there are some whose ability is known by us, not known by you, but perhaps suspected by you, or imagined by the individual, yet the deep choice to manifest that which can be imagined has not been made. This is no criticism. But, in the case, if you will, of your t/r the deep conscious choice was made. And thus, she has become instrumental to this little project of yours, hers, our beloved Sandy’s, and others who have joined you, and the many others who welcomed you into their great mission. It is not always comfortable to be singled out, to be so vitally instrumental in the realization and manifestation of that which, both, the one singled out and the many wish to accomplish. And so, she becomes, from time to time, reluctant, irritated, resentful. These are not permanent liimitations, but they are representations of limits that must be respected, embraced, not necessarily treated as weakness, or vulnerabilities, that must be protected and guarded, even as she herself might from time to time be delighted to have a wall set up around her to keep out the hungry breathren, you might say. Even were you capable of doing such, you would find her chinking away at the wall to have a little peek hole so that she might look out from time to time, or even climbing and peering over so as to create some relationship with that outside world, for even as she experiences these not terribly frequent reluctances and resentments, these limits, and even as she vociferously demands respect for this aspect of her being, this transmitter knows, at a deep still point level that her gift is a gift to be given away. This transmitter, as I said, made that original choice and has not once denied that choice, nor will she. Still, we would acknowledge it is very painful for her, yourself, and others, to go through a conflict or difference of opinion, intimately associated with the issues of patience, and in the conflict fear the rending of the fabric of unity, the rending of the tapestry of love that you have been so carefully creating stitch by stitch. And so you discover the tapestry may have an unexpected line of color thrown in that, at the time of the sewing, the stitching, the embroidering, feels unwanted, feels as if the pattern has been broken, but the stitch is there and must be included. This new stitch, if you will, challenges every contributor to the whole. Challenges each one of you to be unafraid. Challenges the mind of the transmitter to choose again what she had already chosen, and in that choice had imagined, never again, to go through the same difficulties of that choice: Do I want to, do I not? This could be more exposure than I wish. This could be dangerous. This could be too demanding upon my time on earth, on the planet Urantia.

Well yes, all these questions must be confronted time and time again. When you commit to the eternal choice, you surrender some of those more comfortable aspects of your singular life upon the time and space planet, Urantia. Still we would not have you suffering unnecessarily. And so, as we have agreed, you find yourselves in a very intense time of growth. Be unafraid to say No with gentleness, love, certainty, and patience. Be unafraid to listen with gentleness, love, openness to learning. Be unafraid of her ability to allow me to speak collapsing before a strong wave of dissension. You speak of protection, and it is not uncommon to think of protection as establishing a wall, or a moat, a line of Do Not Enter Without Permission. The greatest protection you can offer is the reminder to spend time in remembrance of Him, Michael. To spend time in the stillness and to return to that center point within the stillness in which all becomes clear. You do not need to spend time trying to persuade another to change for you do not change someone’s mind, you provide perspective, information, experiences, and the other changes, or does not change, the mind. Such is true even for one as me. I provide stimulus, nudging, if you will, thoughts, ahas! ideas, still, even if you hear me clearly, within your heart, within the still point of your stillness, you change your mind. And within the teaching mission there are many who hear, many who read, many who receive, and many who change their minds, and many who do not change their minds. It is a process, a development, growth, and you can not expect one to be the same as another. Do not be afraid to allow the transmitter, or yourself, to say No without defense. It is natural to engage in explanations, that is the most common way in which human beings discover, learn, and change their minds. The other way being, of course, that quick (she snaps her fingers) understanding, that quick (she snaps her fingers again) revelation. But you get snagged, my friend, by your desire to have agreement that the transmitter should not be disturbed. You have the most intimate experience of how disturbance diminishes her enthusiasm, if you will, for the choice she has made. You have the closest, the most consistent, experience of the loss to yourself of both the pleasure and the growth, which is not always pleasureable in process, the loss that comes when she goes through reluctance, insecurity, doubt and fear regarding transmitting. So when she is touched by fear and doubt, it is, of course, well to advise her and to promote her return to the simple practice of stillness, as she understood it before her mouth began to speak for us. It was a very private experience and now it feels quite public. This public nature of transmission naturally becomes something to which you and others like to drink from, and so when she withdraws you would prefer that she not do so. And so you seek a way to prevent this phenomenon from occurring. Your love for her also seeks to prevent distress. But if you would surrender your own need to have things go along as they have been so comfortable for you, you will find great patience within yourself for these outer disturbances. You have already begun to do so, separating your patient love for Sir Oliver, as a friend, separating that from your anxiety that the transmitter should continue as you have become accustomed. And when you create this separation you are able to respond with great patience to each of them. Do not try to speak for her. Speak from within your own heart center to each. And when she says No, do not try to speak for her, but simply speak from within your respect for her position. And when Sir Oliver objects, do not try to defend her, but speak from the center point within yourself regarding his issues. And do not be afraid, for we will always honor her human belief that her personal limits must be respected, even if they appear at any time to be interfering with our transmissions. We have many ways to speak to your world. We would not have her move beyond her limits until she has chosen deeply to do so. We do not judge her. You have a reluctance, my friend, to let your beloved Oliver stew in his own juices, as you say.

David : I don’t mind Oliver stewing in his own juices, and I believe that I have been putting him in the heart room with more regularity than before.

Alana : Yes.

David : What I don’t like is the transmitter stewing in the transmitter’s juices. She is feeling sabotaged by Oliver, now. And in some ways this feeling seems so alarming to me that it precipitated my urging her to have this talk with her right now. I would like you to deal with that now, if you would, because I have an issue of my own that I would like to bring up.

Alana : Yes. She does not need to succumb to sabotage. Yes?

David : Correct. On the other hand, she had no evidence that sabotage was going on, it was an intuitive feeling. Is that what you see, sabotage? I agree she doesn’t have to succumb to it, but…is she a little bit crazy? Has she had too much pressure since she got back? What is going on? We are a little confused. Our Sandy…

Alana : Friend, the complexity here is to become involved in a discussion of is it or is it not sabotage, and from who’s point of view. The transmitter does not have to succumb to sabotage, if that is what she sees, if that is what she intuits, if that is what she can or can not prove. She recognizes the feeling of sabotage. She fears she must handily deal with the sabotage. She fears that she will be weakened by sabotage. She is only weakened by her own fear. She may call it, do you understand, she may say, This feels like sabotage. This effects me like sabotage. You do not need to join in any discussion. When she says This stops me, she will stop. But have faith, my friend, return her, remind her, to the stillness, to the practice. She has already made the choice. Do you understand? She will not stop, even if she must stop for a period of time in order to examine for herself whether indeed she has been so severely sabotaged that her foundation has collapsed, or crumbled to the ground. Now, what is your issue?

David : Weariness, with this issue. That’s not really it, that just came to my mind. I’m feeling some sense of failure or ambiguity, I’m not sure which, vis a vis my learning experience, and your teaching around the issue of respect. Legion has made it clear that we should not let the little foxes spoil the vine, that little disrespect, little disrespect, he said, Do not be lackadaisical about this.

Alana : Yes, and you become confused about acknowledging the little disrespect, revealing the little disrespect, and eradicating the little disrespect, or changing the minds of those involved in the little disrespect. Once the action of disrespect has taken place, you can not erase it, it remains known, or unknown. If unknown, then it is your responsibility to reveal. The question becomes, will this little disrespect be repeated? Should it be repeated, you reveal it once again. I do not think you have reached the limit of your ability to embrace the behavior of your friend, Sir Oliver. Had you reached that limit, you might, indeed, say, This is the end. You do not go beyond this without discovering that the door to your welcome is closed. Your door remains open, my friend. As does the door of the transmitter. This, of course, means that you may not have such easy sailing as you would like. You see, his error is that he would have this little part of the whole become the whole immediately. There is a sense in which the little finger, which is a little part of the body, becomes the whole by its co-operation and collaboration with the whole, and, let us say for example, with one whose fingers have become so much the whole that the musician upon the piano has in a sense absolutely no longer awareness of the little part of the little finger, it plays as the whole music plays. But the little finger did not become so facile at becoming the whole (snaps her fingers) over night. That musician had to play and exercise over and over and over again that little part, that little finger, to strengthen, to train, to embrace, to become the whole. So it is with a little child who begins in the family, one might say, almost completely unaware of its membership in the whole family, its memebership beyond the whole little family, its memebership in the greater family, that is the global family, that is the family of God. And so the child slowly begins to exercise its partness within the unit of the whole family, and with practice becomes a member of the whole, and with correct guidance becomes the whole in a very unified and collaborative, co-operative way. This is true of your little group that blossomed one day, and then reaced out a tendril to others, and put out a tendril out to the greater whole, to others to come in to the little group, to the greater group to become known as a participant, part of the greater whole you call the teaching mission, but to me you are nascent, beginning, learning, growing, discovering how to become the whole, how to become a part of the whole and then become the whole. Your friend, Sir Oliver, would make that leap very quickly without the actual learning. It is not so much that he is wrong, as it is that he would escape the little tiny baby steps of this particular group, this particular transmitter.

David : Now may I interject. When you say that he wants the small part to be the whole. That is too abstract for me. Could you clarify that for me?

Alana : He wants this transmitter and this little group to become the whole, behave as he perceives and understands the greater whole already behaving. He would have the transmitter never say No to a seeker of truth, one who would knock on your door and enter. This transmitter has made the deeper choice to give her gift away, yet she humbly recognizes she has made only baby steps toward the ability as a human being to never say No to a truth seeker. She acknowledges that she does not always recognize a truth seeker. She accepts that she does not always recognize one who pretends to be a truth seeker. She recognizes that she herself can not make these judgments always very well. She recognizes that her abilities must be nurtured carefully. Her distress is not our distress. It is not us, nor the future of the teaching mission, nor even the future of her transmitting, where she feels the sabotage. It is in friendship. She has felt her friendship sabotaged. And this she must work out at the very human level of friendship with Sir Oliver. Yes, you have a question in your mind that we would address. Have you raised it. Yours. Your issue.

David : OK. I’m trying to take seriously the lessons I’m learning about patience, about respect, and last week, as you know, our beloved Sandy was moderating and she asked that the group not involve themselves any longer in an exchange of emails about the issues that we’ve been having with Oliver. That we stop for now. And Oliver sent me an email about precisely this issue two days later. I got snagged, as you say, and spent two hours writing, and more hours discussing this with Suzi. And finally I remembered Legion saying to me, It is not your task to straighten out Mr. Oliver. Then what to do. I remembered that Legion said we shouldn’t be slackers about disrespect, not to let things slide, don’t be lackadaisical. So I felt I should talk to Sandy about this, that it had indeed happened, there had been this exchange. I didn’t know what to do about it beyond that. I put it in Sandy’s lap and she more or less said let’s forget about it. But, one of the things that disturbs me is that he has been disrespectful to two of the women in the group by this behavior. It is not my responsibility to straighten him out, but you made it clear in the past that he had brought his “gift” to the door and Sandy turned away from it in order to handle the disrespect, that she was offended by this, he was disrespectful to her there. And he was disrespectful to disregard her injunction not to be writing emails about this. Where does my responsibility begin and end in this matter, please?

Alana : So, we will give you this guideline. You reveal the disrespect. You have done so. You do not need to change him, that is not your task, nor your ability. You may wish to acknowledge to him what you have acknowledged to me, to the transmitter, and to beloved Sandy. This was a act that you perceived as disrespectful. When you tell another that you thought their behavior disrespectful, you are also saying, I am losing a little bit of respect for you. This, my friend, is the painful point for you. It is not your task to change him, nor is it your task to speak for Sandy, or speak for the transmitter, for they make their own choices; but you have before you a friend who writes to you as a friend and a brother and you wish to sustain the same level of respect that you have held for this friend, yet his communication, given as a friend and brother, reduced your respect by a very tiny notch. This is your task to convey, not that it is disrespectful of them, but that you, yourself, have felt a certain lack of respect by his need to, once again, send an email message on the subject, so soon after a request had been made, and agreed upon, to set the issue aside until emotions could be eased. You experience this as a challenge to your friendship, at a very deep level you even question the freindship. Is this person my friend? Can I count upon him? And your greatest disappointment upon receiving this communication was that if your friend understood the same as you had understood, then indeed your friend chose, for whatever reason, to ignore this request/agreement which you honored. And so, you must speak to the level of your heart felt communication to him. Not for her. Not for her. Not for the group. Not for the teaching mission. But with your heart felt communication to him. Did you understand what I understood? Did you honor what I honored? Or did you choose to ignore and therefore chose to communicate, only to me, and am I to take this as an act of friendship?

Closing

David : How would his choice to ignore the wishes of the group be construed as an act in regard to our friendship.

Alana : My beloved, remove your mind from the group. You are challenged to hammer out your friendship. I can only say one more thing because the transmitter is needing some respite before the day continues. She becomes less clear. In your stillness practice, bring Sir Oliver into your heart room. Not in order to solve the problems of the group, but to address the very personal, narrowed down to the two of you, issue of friendship. We shall return to the subject. Thank you.

David : Thank you.