2004-10-18-The Nature Of Resistance To Change
Topic: The Nature of Resistance To Change
Group: Marin TeaM
[Note: Dear Folks, Here to help us welcome change in our lives is Mother Spirit from October 18. Let Her gracious love and encouragement warm your hearts as She has already warmed ours.}
Dear Michael and Mother Nebadonia, We wish to acknowledge You as our spiritual parents - Creator Son and Daughter, born of the Eternal Trinity, and representing Them out here in the wilds of space and time. We feel Your divinity in our hearts as a single stream of love. We ask for Your help so we too can be undivided in our loyalty to You. Amen.
Mother: Good evening, My children. This is your Mother, Nebadonia. I send you My love. Let it warm you, now that the nights are getting cooler on your part of Urantia. Fall is in the air, and it is a wonderful example of how change can invigorate you. Your body shivers naturally. Your mind perks up to look around to see what to gather in for the winter to come. Your spirit rejoices that these aspects of yourself respond so readily to meet the change. Think of the naturalness of this, how, without conscious decision, different aspects of yourself automatically respond as if welcoming the change. Could there be a deep wisdom here, a wisdom that knows that it is in movement you can find reassurance of an innate ability not only to meet change, but to greet it, to welcome it, to thrive because of it?
What then, is the nature of resistance to change? Ask yourself, what is this? I mentioned before that part of this is an attempt to hold time still, to have something to hold onto in this rushing river of time of a whole universe of events, gigantic events. Your modern minds are full, now, of marvels you have never personally experienced. First through motion pictures, and now through many decades of television, your minds are full of images of slow motion photography where you have seen onrushing events slowed to nearly stopping, and then progressing one-thousandth of a second at a time. There are even motion picture techniques of a kind of paradox where, to artistically simulate things happening very quickly, they go to slow motion photography; and yet you understand this.
This is the illusion I mentioned before, that you can stand outside the stream of life itself. So, when suddenly the illusion bursts and you feel time rushing by you inexorably, you even have a sense of panic, of being caught up in a kind of life that is cruelly tormenting you by taking away what you thought you had.
Here, My children, you must ask yourself, what is the truth? What is the larger truth here? Your desire for the truth must outweigh the inconvenience and discomfort of discovering what it is. To feel yourself being alive, yet this is disconcerting - from what viewpoint are you suddenly realizing this? If it suddenly seems you are losing all that you had, ask yourselves, is it the truth? I will not mitigate the courage it takes to accept the answer, but it is only in accepting the truth can you realize that you have lost an illusion yet gained life itself, life without end.
This is the nature of the reluctance to accept change. This can be a lonely journey at first. You may be surrounded by other individuals, even a whole society, who are clinging desperately to the illusion of having something other than the living experience registered in their souls.
You will recall in your text there is a marvelous statement, that so many things are a means to an end. Even food and shelter are a means to keep living, and expendable. But in the relationships between personal beings - human beings, celestial beings, Divine beings - these relationships are an end in themselves, and a part of your soul; potentially eternal, according to your desires. If you want to hold that which endures, consider this. Consider the change that brings you new relationships, new wealth for your soul to enjoy.
Is this a change to welcome, My sons? Now where do you think this change needs to be perceived, and understood, and welcomed? (Pause) I am teasing a bit. This is a bit of a rhetorical question, for I think you immediately sense where this change takes place. Now that you see that this change needs to take place within you, lets go back to what we enjoyed looking at, at first - this deep wisdom springing up inside you - at that first chill in the air signaling a change of season – which helps you move effortlessly to greet it. Would you welcome a change of seasons in your hearts, My sons?
Mother: Let this assurance soak in a while. Let this assurance of feeling alive thoroughly convince you that there is nothing you need to hold on to. You have nothing to lose but an attachment to an illusion. You have a whole world of other people, and whole universes of other beings, to greet.
Just as your minds are full of all these images of slow motion, or time-lapse photography where everything is speeded up, or microscopic photography down to the molecular level, or astronomical photography from the Hubble telescope showing you a sea of galaxies you can hold in the palm of your hand - and these are all real - so it is good, from time to time, to rediscover your human scale of time and space as you live it. For it is here, on this human scale of events and this natural human pace of time set by your heartbeat and your breathing, here where you meet each other. And it is in this living continuum, where there is nothing to hold on to, you can let yourself go and be open to the changes inherent in meeting another. Consider these things awhile, My sons.
If your Mother teases you, She does so out love. Trust that She knows of the adventures your hearts desire, and trust that She knows, at times even more than you, what you are capable of.
If you have any questions or comments, or even a bit of teasing to get back at Me, (laughter) I would be welcome to hear it.
Student: Mother, I don’t have a question, but I appreciate Your humor. I appreciate Welmek and his instructions too. So thank you very, very much.
Mother: You’re welcome, My son. There is an amazing strength in lightheartedness, an amazing power in joy. As a living being, you proceed in pulses, sometimes hanging on tightly, for this is, at times, appropriate. But there are other times when you experience the power and the joy of letting go and embracing, with light hearts, the inevitable. Change is in God’s very nature as He manifests Himself. Changeless Himself, He creates change without limit. And this power of His, you can experience as joy. And be in My love.
Student: Thank you, Mother.
Student: Yes, Mother. I do feel the change, changes that you have been speaking about, and I have been questioning and pondering, what is actually real, this reality… I’m actually reading a book on reality. As you know there is this longing within me, and my intention, to express myself clearly, purely, and honestly. But I also experience this greater frustration within me when I see things that I perceive as not real, or I see people deceiving other people. Even tonight I’ve been speaking to my daughter, who is going to be moving back here in two weeks, which You kind-of knew already. But the way her mother treats her is so very frustrating for me. And what is frustrating even more is that when I’m in this place, I don’t feel the love. So what I’ve learned to do, and it’s hard, is to sit in this place and allow it to move through me. This change - when I see things - is so strong, so different at times, there is even a quandary within me in how can I live in this climate? How can I live in this world with these new ideas and thoughts which are so contrary to what society believes? I guess what I need, in a sentence, is a jolt of energy or something to see that my ventures… that the hard work that I’m experiencing is validated, is truthful, that I’m not caught up in some web of self-deception. And I feel I’m at this precipice that You and Michael and the celestials are just waiting for me to jump off of…
Mother: Ah, D, My son. I am so proud of you. You remember several week ago when I mentioned how much reflection it takes just to keep current with your life, let alone reviewing a whole lifetime? This is what you are engaged in; from My point of view, very successfully, in spite of your self-doubts. I feel you are amazed, at times, that you are not overwhelmed. But I am so proud of your courage to be aware of these things.
Keep in mind that to really feel yourself to be alive, with no comforting illusions to hang on to, is to feel this tipping, moment by moment. I can see, even if you cannot, how this strengths you. I even commend your self-doubt and your self-critique, for this is one way in which you fulfill a desire for self-honesty. You are trying to live suppressing nothing, and this is commendable, for it is not the only way to live. But it is the only way to live free. To feel all that is happening in these situations, to take it in whether you can understand it or not, to allow these events in your life to truly affect you; this is what it is to love. This is what it is to care.
The alternatives of indifference, cynicism, callousness, recklessness - all of these are forms of deadness, lack of feeling, not wanting to care. Cruelty could be defined as a lack, a bankruptcy, you might say, of empathy for another. But to be really involved in life, especially these relationships with others, this is the real stuff of eternity. This is what means something. This is what lasts. Here is where you have to trust your Father, Who is also within you creating your soul - the record of all these experiences. Give these experiences to Him, and they will always be a part of you. Remember Who is writing your soul, my son. For it is in here, and only in here, that justification can be found. So continue to be open, continue to pray for guidance, continue to pray for self-honesty. This is your gift, not only to yourself, but to everyone else you meet. Does this ring true, my son?
Student: Yes, it does. It does ring true. I guess I just would like to have more balance where I do feel the joy, as well as all the other. But I am walking upon the path of my own self-actualization, and authenticity. I’ve had to break free of my limitations and my strait-jacket.
Mother: This, I feel, you are slowly learning. At the present time you are bridging the gap, if you will; you’re making do by worrying. This can only be relieved, paradoxically, by a kind of trust in yourself. As I said before, this is something you slowly earn. At the moment, you can actually trust Michael, and Myself, and our Father more than you can trust yourself. Yet this is also wisdom, and this wisdom may strike you as something other than yourself. But it is actually a form of self-knowledge. Your own wisdom knows how much you can trust yourself and how much you must still doubt and question yourself. If you keep open to your responsibilities, open to experiencing and feeling all this complexity involved in your family and in your work, you will slowly earn the self-respect that lets you appreciate what you are doing, while at the same time avoiding the pitfalls of pride and vanity.
It’s a balance, and it is a living balance. But you gain an ability, a real possession, only this way. Consider these things, my son. Your understanding is by small steps, and meditation, and prayer, and reflection. All these help you maintain a sense of where you have been so that, from time to time, you can know the joy and, indeed, the deep peacefulness how far you have come.
Student: Thank you, Mother. Can You say something about my daughter and what she needs right now, and why her mother is treating her the way she does, not like a mother at all? It’s just my daughter will be here in two weeks, after almost three years of being away from me, except for mini-vacations. She’s coming back here to be with me in her best interest.
Mother: My son, I feel this relationship between your daughter and her mother might benefit from the separation we talked about before. Sometimes when people are too bound to each other, the dialogue and the exchanges of emotion get so convoluted that there has to be some separation in order to have a fresh start. Recriminations and endless explications of past events just feed on each other inextricably, and so each party needs a break, and some space, each to herself, to get beyond the past and into a fresh now.
This is what I suggest will be the most valuable thing you can offer your daughter when you meet her: to be as current and up to date in your own life as you can be, so you can offer her a marvelous, fresh beginning. This way you can see each other clearly, not through a haze of nostalgia, but in the fresh perception of who each of you has become - someone who has never existed before. If you can perceive her this way, and help her perceive you this way, with room for something new to begin, this, I think, is the greatest gift you can give each other. Perhaps your very separation will help this be possible.
Student: This is very possible.
Mother: I know the anticipation will be great. But use it! Use all the energy of this anxiety to break out of any preconceived notions of who this other person might be, especially since she is your daughter. Maybe, even beyond father and daughter, you can each find a friend.
Student: Thank you very much, Mother. That’s so really helpful, so very true.
Mother: Well, my son, you are definably earning your soul. I just say, it does My mother’s heart proud to call you My son.
Student: Dear Mother Nebadonia, Jesus once said that out of the mouths of babes is praise perfected, so I’d like to complement You for having a real head on Your spiritual shoulders, and since You are the female counterpart, supposedly in a mindful sense, You’re helping me get rid of my possible secret sin of prejudice towards female mind. And You seem to have caught up with Jesus, even in focus, so I wonder what You must be sharing with Him - the Supreme, so that You’re still mothering Jesus at the same time as co-equal partners. It’s a thrill to see the two of You operate together.
Mother: Thank you, My son. I would reflect back to you, that you too have both male and female aspects. It is in achieving a balance of these within yourself that you rise above the particular cultural conditioning of the accident of your birth to a particular time and place. Every different culture has different methods and traditions of assigning qualities to what they consider masculine and feminine. And these too are in a living flux which changes with time.
But to be an individual, to realize the uniqueness of your God-created personality, to realize a totality of human being, you must realize both the male and the female above and beyond your cultural conditioning. And when you achieve this balance within yourself, this ongoing living process, just so you approach completeness, and inclusiveness. Do you see what I mean by this, My son?
Student: Yes, I do. I’ve known it pretty well in theory for a long time, but You are helping me to integrate and collate it into my total being. Thank You, again.
Mother: I would suggest, just for the pure joy of it, spend a little time remembering and reflecting on all the females you have known. They, too, are a part of your soul, My son. They, too, have contributed so much to who and what you are. They, too, are a great part of your wealth. And be in My love.
Student: Thank You, a very good lesson.
Mother: Well, My sons, if I could offer you a final observation: you don’t seem to know how much you are growing, and this is understandable. The growth of the Supreme Being on the scale of just one personality can seem so miniscule, and you are so caught up in it, as you gain your sensitivity to feel it, moment by moment, tipping back and forth along a little thread of time; often you can only see your progress and your growth in retrospect. This is why I encourage you to truly remember previous times in your life - what it felt like to be you when you were, say, sixteen, or twenty-five. Just remember moments, and this will give you some insight into how far you’ve come, and some real appreciation of the effort involved. This should be especially helpful for you parents in realizing where your younger children are, and being able to see them with fresh eyes. So take heart! Take it from Me the assurance you are growing, indeed. And be in My peace, and My love. Good evening.