2005-11-06-Group Communication, Avoidance
Topic: Group Communication
Group: SE Idaho TeaM
Teacher: Iruka, Aaron, Minearsia, Klarixiska
IRUKA (Pam): Hello, my friends. It is Iruka. I will be opening the meeting today:
Most heavenly Creator, we come to you to be fed, to grow, to be inspired, and to be comforted. We are your children, and we look to you for guidance and for love. Your approval helps us grow. Your approval helps us approve of ourselves. We open our hearts tonight to learn and to grow. Amen
AARON (Simeon): Greetings, I am Aaron. It is my pleasure to spend time with you tonight. We have absorbed your sharing with one another and recognized that you have faithfully extended our invitation to utilize the interactive method. In the past, I have intimated that for the Supreme to be realized, all personality must have total expression, and, in some sense, you can see the beginning swirls of manifestation in your fledgling dialogues with one another here.
A suggestion to offer when discussing an issue, a topic, an idea is that you could begin by having each person touch in with their initial feelings about the subject before going into cross dialogue and random sharing. For this is actually a universal method used. Though not laid down in law, when a working group approaches some task, the natural outflow is for each member of the working group to bring themselves to the table, so to speak, from which the greater dialogue can occur, once it is known that all personalities are present and engaged. So, although, it may be seen as a technique in this early phase of relationship building, you will find as you progress in your ascension career that this involvement of all ! beings comes about without even the conscious awareness.
This evening’s interaction will be shorter, for much of your sharing preceded our time with you. I will withdraw at this time to allow another to spend some quality time with you. Thank you.
MINEARISA (Nancy): I am Minearisa, Instructor in Residence, pleased to participate in this forum. I thank Aaron for bringing forth a pattern of interaction that is indeed beneficial, for it allows all views to be experienced prior to momentum building in some direction, and it honors the expression of all beings equally and assures that none make themselves either smaller or greater than others. And so we proffer this model of communication for your practice within this group and in all other forums in which you can successfully insert it.
Tonight, I wish to divert back to the topic of addiction to distraction, for indeed does this topic encompass a full range of addictions and other avoidance behaviors. [pause]
One moment please, while I try to restart this TR’s engine. When she second guesses my direction, her fear stops the flow, and many of my attempts to communicate are blocked.
And, so, it is avoidance behavior I wish to discuss tonight, and PamElla is offering us a fine example of avoidance with her TR technique. [Laughing and comments.]
Bob D: Thank God I don’t have that problem.
Bob S: You have a very sympathetic audience.
MINEARSIA: Yes, indeed, my friends, you are all highly familiar with avoidance. It is inherent in your organism. It is part of your physiologic makeup. You are programmed to avoid that which is dangerous, which could lead to your premature death or to other physical damage or pain.
An aspect of spiritual growth is to act despite such animalistic tendencies as avoidance. To stop avoiding requires the exercise of your will and is a spiritual phenomenon. To avoid avoidance—thank you—requires trust and faith in a greater purpose, for avoidance is the easier path of which Iruka spoke last week. The road less traveled is the road that requires confronting those natural animal tendencies that have survival significance and yet are not conducive to spiritual growth.
This tension, inherent in the material existence, is one of its great benefits, for it is in the material existence that this tension, this dialectic—for those who are familiar with the term—is most pronounced. Therefore, its benefits are most beneficent.
Next week we wish for you to begin with a personal sharing on the topic of avoidance using the technique of communication introduced this evening by Aaron. Your homework assignment is to become aware of what you avoid, the techniques you use to avoid, and the pay-offs you receive for this behavior. We hope to have a hearty and fulsome discussion with you next week.
However, before we end this evening we do throw open the floor to entertain any pressing concerns or clarify any of our discussion. The floor is open.
Virginia: I would just like to restate what I think I heard Aaron say and that is that in our discussions, in our sharing, we should be careful to be sure that we do not interrupt the other person—in AA I think it is called no cross talk—until that individual is finished. Am I correct on that Aaron?
MINEARISA (Nancy): I am Minearisa. I will address this. Thank you for your clarifying question, Virginia. There are two aspects. The first aspect is to allow every individual to respond, share, provide their perspective, their experience, whatever it would be, before allowing a dialogue to begin. So, yes, this would mean no cross talk. The emphasis is on listening, on hearing.&nb! sp; Once that part of the exercise is complete, then indeed can a discussion occur that builds [upon what has previously been shared]. To the extent at this point that cross talk is in response to something that someone has said, it is of course allowable. This is how discussion develops. If it is an interruption, which can be experienced as disrespect to the individual speaking, then it is better to wait.
Now, in the group dynamic, there is the question of what happens when four people have a reaction to the speaker. How is that handled? How is a balance found? You will find as you practice your dialoguing and interaction techniques that the dialogue can become very much like a piece of music, and the speakers are much like musicians, tuned-in to one another, alert, sending body signals, sending eye signals, and if every one is desiring to be connected to the Great Conductor, then each will take their turn in the way that brings forth the fullest disclosure of the topic at hand.
My friend, did this assist you?
Virginia: Yes it did. I think that was very clear. Share if you want to; listen to others, and dialogue after everybody has a chance.
MINEARISA: Yes, and I would emphasize here, that while it is "share if you want to," the premise is that everyone has something important to contribute. And, so, it is a responsibility, a duty, as much as a privilege to share that perspective.
Virginia: Thank you.
MINEARISA: Yes. Thank you. I have one further comment. On this planet, Urantia, it has become quite common for certain individuals to feel that their perspective is so unworthy of notice that they take no notice of their own perspective either, possibly losing sight of it, and for others to enjoy the sound of their own thoughts so much that they trip over other individuals in an effort to deliver those thoughts. God created all beings equal in love, respect and significance. Finding balance in the intellectual forums of Urantia is a goal that is yet to be attained.
We compliment you on the developing balance in your group, not only of those here tonight, but in your larger Teaching Mission base. Your sharing is becoming more balanced. Carry on!
As you can see, my friend, I very much appreciated the opportunity to deliver more of my thoughts. Thank you.
Are there other questions or thoughts?
Bob D: I got this image—I don’t know if it’s right. I got this idea of…when you are creating something with other people, let’s say it is a piece of music or something like that, the art of it is to know when to play your instrument and when to rest your instrument and allow others to play. Sometimes you may have a great idea for what needs to be shared, but it isn’t the right time. In serious communication with people working in a group atmosphere, the art is in knowing when to share something and when to maybe wait and hold so that the timin! g is right. I don’t know if I got the idea completely, but it was kind of like this image that was flashing as you were talking.
MINEARISA: Thank you, my friend. You indeed understood the meaning of my words and have embellished upon them admirably. The image of knowing when to play and when to rest your instrument is indeed apropos. Thank you.
My friends, while I know the time has come to allow you to return to the routine of your lives, to make the drives safely while you are still alert, we, your friends, your teachers, so enjoy our time with you that it is difficult to part. Be that as it may, unless there are other comments or questions, the time has come to close this night’s meeting.
Going once…going twice….Please stand and…..hold hands.
KLARIXISKA (Virginia): This is Klarixiska. Congratulations to each of you. And from me, I would say, good luck as you make your list of the things you avoid and the outcomes of that. And now let us pray:
Father we thank you that our students are willing to grow and to take the steps that they know will help them progress toward you. We thank you that you do approve of each one of us and extend your arm around us to help us to feel safe to develop that trust that is so necessary to keep on changing and growing. Help each one to not avoid you. Help each one of us to reach out in faith, to dispel the beliefs that are hindering us from becoming closer to you. Thank you for the Teaching Mission that we all are a part of, teachers and students, trying to serve you.